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How allies can help Plurals, including supporting those with DID/OSDD

2 Comments / 2021, allies, DID, Informative & educational, OSDD, Resources, Selected for the clinical community / By
Allies can best help Plural people by listening and asking appropriate questions to individuals in systems if and when they present themselves. Everyone is different and with that comes different desires and needs, that should be taken into account. Don’t assume, ask & believe!
Please believe your Plural loved ones. Unless what they are saying is truly harmful, puts them or others in danger, it is most respectful to believe what the System is telling you & the only way to truly empathize

If their believes need challenging, that’s therapy work, not yours

image of a quote: In order to empathize with someone's experience you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be. -Brene Brown.
Each System is different! Ask* for open conversation with & about the System, on a regular day, when there is no crisis.

Talk about their individual access needs, desires, agreements, guidelines for their Systemhood & how the System wants you, to interact with them.

*Explain why you are asking for the conversation, take away possible anxiety. Most importantly, ALWAYS have this talk with the goal of understanding, rather than agreement. You are NOT negotiating, you are listening, learning & getting to know & its a honor, so treat it that way!
Make sure you treat individual system members (age) appropriate. Be respectful and if they share this information, make sure to use the correct name(s) and pronouns. Realize that switching costs energy, accept no for an answer and don’t push for details.
Be kind, understanding, patient and helpful when you know someone is experiencing amnesia, loss of skills or words or is switching rapidly between members.
Do not touch people without consent and help them remember where (location) and when (year) they are, in case you find someone in crisis. Remind them that they are stronger together and that they can keep each other safe best.
Allies of Plurals - our free magazine for allies
Want to learn how to become a better ally of Plurals? Click the image to read our free 70-page magazine!
Empower them and build their confidence whenever you get the chance. The main thing to avoid is making someone prove to you that they are in crisis, that it’s bad enough or that they really tried every other option first.
Become trauma informed, learn non violent communication techniques, learn to set healthy boundaries, keep your promises and don’t make promises you can’t keep, avoid absolute statements (always, never) in short, be a decent human being to often traumatized individuals.
We are Plural. No harm is done by our existance, but much harm is done by denying it.
Please tell Plurals (no matter the label they use) that The Plural Association Nonprofit exist! Our nonprofit is newly founded, and we depend on word to mouth, Plurals telling other Plurals, allies telling allies etc, about our nonprofit!
We are a grassroots, volunteer and peer-led nonprofit & we do not receive government or other financial grants, we depend fully on community & ally support!
How to know if you are Plural
Click the image to read the article.

As always, we encourage you and your System to follow your own truth, to soul search, to find words, labels, visions, theories and communities that aren’t only within your values but also match your lived experience and/or long term goals, so that you might find belonging and don’t have to try to fit in.

Thank you for investing the time to read this article. Please, feel free to leave comments or feedback in the comment section.

The Plural Association is the first and only grassroots, volunteer and peer-led nonprofit empowering Plurals. Our works, including resources like this, are only possible because of support from Plurals and our allies. 

If you found this article helpful, please consider making a donation.

Together we empower more Plurals!

Disclaimer: Thank you for reading our peer article; we hope it was empowering, informative and helpful for you and your System. There are as many Plural experiences, as there are Plurals. So not all information on this website might apply to your situation or be helpful to you; please, use caution. We’re not doctors or clinicians and our nonprofit, our work, and this website in no way provide medical advice, nor does it replace therapy or medication in other ways.

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About the authors

Stronghold
+ posts

The Stronghold System are the proud volunteer founders & CEO of The Plural Association Nonprofit. They are from the Netherlands and reside in a 30-something-year-old body, are nonbinary, parents of an amazing child & 3 cats. They got diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder over 10 years ago & also self ID as Plural.

2 thoughts on “How allies can help Plurals, including supporting those with DID/OSDD”

  2. Melody

    I am dating two plural people both trans women as am I trans. It’s new its allot button willing to learn and I love them so much. I want to be their rock

    Reply

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