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This is a best practice guide written by a group of anonymous (s)RA Survivors, in hopes of bringing more understanding to the DID & Plural community.
- Collective trauma: Anything can be a trigger to anyone. But we know that RA Survivors often share collective triggers. These are often (a combination of) emoticons, colors, numbers, dates, spiritual and/or religious and/or occult topics, (hand) signals, childhood movies, stories, rhymes and nursery rhymes. Ang*ls, Dem*ns, poss*sion and c*lts are also extremely triggering to certain (s)RA survivors. Avoid these topics when you know you are interacting with RA Survivors.
- (s)RA: (s)RA survivors share collective trauma and dates with RA survivors. But they also share other collective trauma and dates together. The s in (s)RA stands for sat*nic.
- Holidays: Avoid mentioning holidays by name when possible. Using a substitute, like the day when children dress up and collect candy works better. Everyone (in the west) will know what you mean, but it possibly avoids triggering someone. Please know not every collective trauma date or holiday affects every (s)RA survivor. To imply otherwise is dangerously suggestive!
- Do not ask for proof! You are not the police. We are not in court. We do not have to prove anything to you. You do not ask these questions about other survivors, either. It is extremely invalidating, and your skepticism or curiosity must not be our problem.
- Do not out people! Whether you are an RA Survivor or not, when someone posts a question without giving details, you do not have the right to spread details about other people’s trauma. Just because the same thing happened to you or someone told you about it, it should ALWAYS and only be up to the original poster & their System to choose to reveal which and how much information they are able and willing to disclose. This can really put RA Survivors in danger. As it can too easily trigger programming in certain Survivors.
Programming: Sometimes you will read about the term programming in RA Survivors posts. Without giving too many details, a programming response is a conditioned, extremely involuntarily compulsion. Which sometimes, for some people can be experienced as psychotic symptoms or dissociative behaviors that could put them in danger. This programming is triggered in the same way PTSD or switching can be triggered. A programming trigger usually contains out of more than 1 word and/or action. So avoid asking for or mentioning details, whenever possible.
Some people use the term programmed System to indicate that a System was deliberately created or expanded, against their will, by an outside perpetrator. We wrote more about programming here.
- System pride day and flag: Be aware that the ‘system pride day and flag’ are extremely upsetting and triggering to some RA survivors. Not only because of the colors that were chosen, but also because of the original event date, the extreme silencing and exclusion of this event and it’s associates.
- Prayer: Please do not offer prayer to RA Survivors without the topic starter explicitly asking for it, as it could trigger badly, even if your intentions are good.
Trigger Warnings & st*rs:
Please be aware that this practice often makes posts inaccessible to screen readers that some of our visually impaired Plurals use.
RA Survivors, like most DID Survivors have headmates and days on which they can handle triggering topics. But also headmates and days when they can’t handle triggering topics. This is why trigger warnings with an option to click open the post work great for RA Survivors. It gives us back the control, by allowing us to choose to click or not.
Although st*rs or d.ts are definitely not trigger free for everyone, it does seem to help certain RA survivors to bypass programming. Some RA Survivor Systems have taught themselves to not read text that is st*rred if they are not in a safe head space. Please remember that different groups have different rules in place when it comes to the usage of trigger warnings and st*rs.
Each System and Survivor is different and has different experiences, triggers, opinions & believes, desires and access needs surrounding RA and their System, which are sometimes conflicting. Always ask the System you are interacting with what best meets their individual needs.
As always, we encourage you and your System to follow your own truth, to soul search, to find words, labels, visions, theories and communities that aren’t only within your values but also match your lived experience and/or long term goals, so that you might find belonging and don’t have to try to fit in.
Thank you for investing the time to read this article. Please, feel free to leave comments or feedback in the comment section.
The Plural Association is the first and only grassroots, volunteer and peer-led nonprofit empowering Plurals. Our works, including resources like this, are only possible because of support from Plurals and our allies.
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Disclaimer: Thank you for reading our peer article; we hope it was empowering, informative and helpful for you and your System. There are as many Plural experiences, as there are Plurals. So not all information on this website might apply to your situation or be helpful to you; please, use caution. We’re not doctors or clinicians and our nonprofit, our work, and this website in no way provide medical advice, nor does it replace therapy or medication in other ways.
About the authors
The Stronghold System are the proud volunteer founders & CEO of The Plural Association Nonprofit. They are from the Netherlands and reside in a 30-something-year-old body, are nonbinary, parents of an amazing child & 3 cats. They got diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder over 10 years ago & also self ID as Plural.
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This has been really helpful as we are new to everything. Thank you for being here.
Glad this is helpful! Thank you.